Name this pain... (betrayal, back stabbing, etc., ect.)?

A relationship is made of several different things:


1. Love


2. Trust


3. Honesty


4. Care


5. Support


6. Determination


We all know that. But one thing that people don%26#039;t know is that a relationship between two people isn%26#039;t 50/50. It%26#039;s always 60/40 or 70/30. One person always loves more. And one person always has loved longer. No matter what, there%26#039;s always someone(#1) that cares more about the relationship, and more about the other person(#2) than #2 does about #1. People say that to make a relationship to work you have to be patient and work hard to establish it. Well that%26#039;s a joke. There%26#039;s always someone who pretends to be hard working, while the other person actually works and tries. But the slacker just goes along for the ride...and ends up breaking the true person’s heart.


If you ask me, there%26#039;s no such thing as a %26quot;true relationship%26quot; between two people. You may think there is, but if you look closely, there%26#039;s always a flaw. Someone starts pulling away after a while. Soon, they make new friends/ find someone else/ get divorced/ start arguing (etc.). It may be perfect at first, but then things start to happen. People change, they grow away from you, they lose interest, and they start to not care....


And personally, I hate this feeling. I%26#039;ve had it happen to me. And it%26#039;s not something you%26#039;d volunteer yourself for. It hurts. It feels like you%26#039;ve been hit by a bus. Or your very soul has been ripped away from you and crushed. You%26#039;re heart starts to feel heavy. Your stomach ties in knots. Your throat closes up. Your eyes start to run and tear. Pretty soon, you can%26#039;t hold it in any longer. You%26#039;ve put up with this unknown pain for-it seems like-years. And you just can%26#039;t deal with it any more. So you stop-then and there-and cry. You cry until you think there%26#039;s not a drop of water left in you. But, surprisingly, you feel the same feeling once again. So this time you start sobbing. Your face turns red and puffy. Your eyes are blood-shot, and you%26#039;re nose is dripping like Niagara Falls. Yet you keep crying. And you keep sniffling, and the tears just keep coming. Who knows, you could be crying for days. Yet you still feel like your soul has been run over by a train. And your stomach is still in knots. And it has caused you lack of appetite. So you haven%26#039;t eaten in who knows how long and your weak and tired. But you can%26#039;t seem to choke down even a bit of the soup your mom is trying to shove down your throat. But you%26#039;re still able to find enough water and salt to cry. You go on like this for only Pete knows how long. And pretty soon, people start to worry. They keep asking you what%26#039;s wrong. And why you won%26#039;t stop crying. And when you can%26#039;t find the words to answer, they start with threats. After a while, they give up. They go away and don%26#039;t come back for a while. While they leave, you wonder why someone won%26#039;t just stay and hold your hand. Like they used to when you stubbed your toe or fell on the sidewalk. But you%26#039;re all grown up now. And they assume you can handle your own problems. And they all want to know is what the problem is, so they can act concerned for about five minutes, and then leave you all alone to fend for yourself. But the truth is, this kind of pain is something no one can go through alone. And this type of pain can%26#039;t be healed by band-aids or from a giant lollipop given to you by the guy on the street corner.


To me, this type of pain follows you for the rest of your life. Even if you make new friends/ meet someone new/ apologize/ or just ignore the source; even if you heal, it follows. There%26#039;s always something that triggers the memory. There%26#039;s always a reminder there, warning you not to get to close. And when a day comes along and you just can%26#039;t seem to get out of bed; or when you just start to cry for-people think-%26quot;no good reason%26quot;; you%26#039;ll secretly remember that pain. What if felt like. And the cause of it will come back to haunt you...then slowly fade away. Until that day comes that it is triggered yet again.


For me, this pain hasn%26#039;t gone away yet. If I look closely, I can still see the scars that were left on my heart after the war was over. And after all the tears were shed, and all the days of remembering, I can still feel it sometimes. And I remember what caused it. The pain only hurts worse during those times. And when I don%26#039;t remember it, I%26#039;m almost positive I can still feel a slight throbbing where it feels like my soul was ripped out and dropped from Mount Everest and then stomped on with a Golfing shoe.


To me, this pain isn%26#039;t something asked for. And this pain isn%26#039;t pretty.....


But neither is

Name this pain... (betrayal, back stabbing, etc., ect.)?
grief, depression, heartbreak
Reply:heyheyhey!!!! i thought your name was funloving girl!!! so stop already. there are books about this in the bookstores, one is called %26#039;love tactics%26#039;. i was frankly hurting reading your question. it was the longest i ever read, i actually couldnt really finish it.
Reply:Uh oh--it looks like someone needs a HUG!



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